keeping myself sane

rezeki tu milik Allah..siapa lah kita nk argue ? infact, tidakkah kita akan dikira sebagai hamba yg tidak bersyukur sekiranya kita sering merungut dgn kekurangan yg kita ada? kalau sesuatu punca rezeki itu Allah takdirkan bukan milik kita, maka ada hikmahnya. mungkin waktu dan keadaan itu tidak sesuai dgn kita. Mungkin juga, Allah ingin memberi peringatan kepada kita dgn cara yg halus? apa2 jua yg kita miliki di dunia ini, sesungguhnya hanyalah pinjaman yg sementara. harta, kesihatan, paras rupa, mak dan ayah, pasangan hidup, anak2..Mengapa kita tidak bersyukur dgn apa yg kita ada malah meminta2 lebih apa yg kita tiada? bukan maksud meminta itu salah, tp seharusnya kita syukuri dulu nikmat yg Dia bg.. hari ini, dugaan datang menduga aku yg lemah. menduga hati yg seadanya rapuh. mencuit sanubari yg mudah tersentuh. tanpa kusedari aku menidakkan ketentuannya. aku lupa seketika Qada' dan Qadarnya. Astaghfirullah... walaupun, mcm2 dugaan dtg kebelakangan ini, aku cuba kuatkan diri menghadapi satu persatu kerana kadang kala aku rasa sangat sendiri... kenapa? tak baik buruk sangka dgn ketentuanNya.Dia Maha Adil. itu yg nyata.Allah tarik satu punca rezeki. tp hari esok Allah bukakan 10 punca yg lainnya. InsyaAllah... on the other hand... i'm worried about my pregnancy. I'm 5months pregnant. i weigh only 42.5kg during 4months pregnant.. last check up my weight increase a bit, 45kg... actually 45kg is my pre-pregnancy weight.so, i'm kinda worried. i lost my appetite often. skipped meals when i don't feel like eating. i'm suffering from severe flu for like forever.last time when i'm pregnant with rayyan i experienced the same thing, but it was winter so i guess it's normal and the doc gave me a shot that made me immune to flu for about a year.no flu at all... but the prob come back now and it's really bothering me.. with the H1N1 and all... i'm worried about my baby's safety. but then, many things happens around me that made me neglect my health for something else. especially rayyan prob with the maid. maybe i got stressed easily. tell me how to not be stress?? inspite all that, according to the doc, the baby is doing fine. he/she's now 265gram. next week, insyaAllah we're gonna go for a 4D scan.. it's free actually.their doing a demo at my current clinic. so, hope baby is doing ok even mommy's not. on the other hand, my best friend is going for umrah today. i wish her a safe journey through out her umrah. tak kesampaian hajat kami nk pergi bersama.. insyaAllah lain tahun. and today, my family from johor is coming to visit us here... finally!! i have to go home early... prepare all the things to make them comfortable. i hope they have a pleasant stay with us for 3days.. moga aku terus tabah.... melancholy hati