"YES" @ "NO"

***** seriously.... like seriously, i need a break!*****

i've always hate it when it comes to making decisions...as simple as to decide what attire to wear....to those big-hard-to-make-kalau-silap-HABIS decisions. life is about making decisions..sometimes we have the slightest idea of which is the right one and what not to opt for... most of the time, it cause STRESS which is not good for sure! the more responsibility you have, the more decisions you have to make.(and soon more stress will come)... have to admit it..that's part of the deal being a human.

i have faced countless time in making hard decisions.but this is the 1st time in my life... i feel like i don't have any options...i've just been given the answer by question..or should i say, a request. haven't you come to a question which sounds like there's answer in it already??? there's no way to say 'NO'.. a hard-solid 'YES' hiding in the Q. bak kata pepatah melayu,' ditelan mati mak, diluah mati bapak'? either way, i'm stuck!

aduh, sakit perut fikir ...heheheh.

Allah duga kami lagi...

all i can do is ASK from HIM... may he guide our heart to make the best decision.

boleh jem kepala berfikir...dah la hari nih rasa badan cramp setelah seharian jadi jurugambar utk seminar. penat rupanyer jd photographer nih yer..walaupon kerjanya tala kamera n tekan button jer..seb baik balik umh ada org sudi urutkan...ada tpt nk bermanja.sambil2 tgk cerita SALT..best woo!! rayyan pon layan sama..aduhai, rasa cam xlarat jer nk sambung amek gmbr esok...but again, responsibilty...

suddenly..tgh2 borak dgn 'tukang urut' tiba2 rayyan bersuara

rayyan : ... itu mama ke?

me : huh?? tu?

papa : ha ah..mama la tu

me : *blushing* sambil ketawa bahagia

guess what? rayyan said evelyn salt a.k.a angelina jolie is his mama.hahahah..okay, i bg lesen gelak! tp encik suami sokong kata, mmg ada rupa cuma tang bibir jer kureng sama....cett!

itulah nikmat ALLAH bg... anak penawar gusar di hati! and for that, i know He never left us out =)

Alhamdulillah~

lately, perut nih selalu sensitif... tak tau mana salahnyer..salah makan ke, alergi ke... risau la pulak takut effect kat rifqi since he's fully bf... aduhai perut, kenapa dgn kamu?? sejak bila kamu jadi sensitip? mungkin kena bertapis makan.... mmg skg nih makan xterjaga.main taram jer apa ada dpn mata... kesian perut jadi mangsa.

We Learned a Lot

alhamdulillah, kes kecurian aritu halfway selesai. 3hari selepas hari kejadian, inspector yeap berjaya menangkap suspek, orang tengah dan jugak pembeli laptop berkenaan.(uishh,skema ayat pagi2 nih).. ahad lepas, inspektor yeap telefon suruh kami balik bp hari isnin untuk selesaikan hal tu. kalau ikutkan hati kami, mmg taknak bg peluang kat org giller tu..tp bila fikir melibatkan byk pihak yg juga merupakan orang terdekat, xnak la kemudian hari nnti bermasam2 muka. setelah berfikir panjang, kami cuba merelakan keputusan untuk membiarkan org giller itu terlepas dr hukuman walaupun ini bukan kali pertama dia ditangkap. on friday, one of the family member of org giller called trying to convince us to let go of the case. we said, we have no intention of letting a criminal walk away, plus this is not his 1st time. he has done this before, been caught and apparently didn't learned any lesson from it. when we voice out our decision, he said some not nice things that makes us feel like we are the bad ones... mmg sakit hati sgt2. derang ungkit kata benda dah dpt balik, lepaskan je..nnti lepas raya kita cuba masukkan dia dlm pusat pemulihan bla..bla..blaa.. 1st of all, i said, luckily dpt balik brg tu..kalau tak dpt?? sape yg rugi dlm situasi ni?? us with the lost of almost rm7k! ada org nk kesah?? 2nd point,once org giller tu dah lepas..apa guarantee that he's not gonna run away? can u give me any guarantee?? nope, i don't think so! 3rd, kenapa la ko nk bela lagi org mcm tu?? darah daging sendiri pon, yg salah patut terima hukuman.. deal with it laa.. byk la lagi point aku nk bebelkan..tp lom sempat abis hujah dia dah letak tepon. after all these years, how come you don't understand this human creature named MAISARAH???! i'm stubborn, don't you remember?? tp lepas drpd tu, i come to think... this time...fikir panjang2..fikir secara waras.xnak ikut perasaan hawa nafsu keras kepala sendiri.timbang2 pros n cons.. and kesimpulan i gave to emir was, sedangkan nabi ampunkan umat..siapa la kita nk hukum dia lebih2..mungkin kali nih dia lepas drpd hukuman... tp hukuman dr Dia sudah tersedia.Allah nk uji kita, nk uji sabar kita..nk uji sifat pemaaf kita.. let just let this go..for the sake of long term relationship.for the sake of his family that i also love. kali nih, kami rasa kami dah buat keputusan yg biarpun tak berapa adil, tp menggembirakan byk hati. hari isnin tu, kami berdua mmg tak boleh cuti sebenarnya..tp kalau kami tak balik juga pada hari isnin takut tak sempat nk tarik balik kes. setelah menerangkan situasi kpd toda sensei, dia pelik kenapa kami nk tarik balik kes, sedangkan org giller tu mmg dah mengaku salah. sewajarnya dia menerima hukuman. tp itu laa... mcm2 perkara yg bersangkut paut dgn benda nih yg akhirnya, to let go the case is the best way for all... well, maybe not for us! selepas subuh kami bertolak pulang ke bp berdua, of course tak bawa rayyan because we wanna settle this matter on the very same day.. takut rayyan buat hal.xnak lepas nih kena ulang alik dudk dlm kereta berjam2, end up asek kena amek cuti..masalah jugak nnti.sampai jer kat sana, waktu kami sampai di pintu mahkamah, si orang giller dlm perjalanan keluar mahkamah with his family... sambil nenek dia nangis2.dia dijamin oleh neneknya rm2500..woww..rm2500 bukan sikit utk org susah seperti keluarga tu, tp demi kasih seorang nenek, sanggup keluar duit simpanan kerana tak sampai hati nk biarkan cucu duduk dlm lokap.kalau tak dijamin pagi tu, org giller akan dihantar ke penjara simpang renggam pd pkl 10pg hari yg sama.belum sempat tarik kes, dia dah dijamin..kalau dah tarik kes xperlu keluar duit byr duit jamin.tp emir kata, xperla..biar derang rasa susah sikit..kena pergi bank,fikir byk kali nk keluarkan duit beribu utk selamatkan ahli keluarga.. biar terasa sikit. i understand her feelings but i don't think that's the best way to teach her grandson.. remember i vow to give him a punch on his face..well, i refrain myself from doing so...kang buat scene depan mahkamah pulak.furthermore, i don't see the point of doing that.looking at his muka-tak-bersalah..mmg buat orang nih lagi sakit hati. i asked him why he took the laptop. he said he needed money to pay his debt.. and that the guy he owes threatened him if he doesn't pay back the money. the problem is why do u have to borrow that stupid chinese guy money at the first place. what is it u desperately needed that force you to borrow that much amount of money.and then, he went on babling about his brother's debt that he has to repay..blaa..blaa..blaa.. after all he has done, do you think there's any room for me to believe any word you say?? despite his crimes, the family seems to be cool..no scolding, no pressure given to him... they bring org giller home as though welcoming him home from the hospital... not from the court from a crime he clearly confessed he did!! tak paham macam mana pemikiran orang2 disekeliling dia... tak hairan la kalau lepas nih dia ulang balik buat jahat. hopefully not..astaghfirullah...

lepas dia keluar, kami pulak yg kena menunggu depan court tu untuk pendakwa raya.. lama sungguh dia duk bicara kes lain kat dlm. pkl 10 sampai sana..pkl 2 baru siap.sempat jugak tgk aksi2 penjenayah kat court.kebanyakkannya dtg dr family org susah.yg dtg jamin or melawat makcik2 tua... syian tgk derang. sempat jugak amek gmbr gari..hehehe..dpt pengalaman masuk court tp masa i masuk dah abis bicara..cuma sempat tgk hakim...sikit punyer muda remaja..pompuan umur 24thn lak tu.. mcm budak2..siap buat lawak masa biacara..org kat dlm court sume mcm takut2 ngan dia, tp dia relaks jer.. xde pulak dia pakai rambut cam hakim dlm tv yg kaler putih curly2 tu...hehehe..tak cun la kan.. lepas jumpa pendakwa raya, kami buat surat itu ini, gi balai polis balik.. pastu balik semula ke court..akhirnya siap gak urusan tarik balik kes.kami pos je surat tu ke pejabat pendakwaan muar. bila derang dah pertimbangkan bole atau tak tarik kes.. baru laa duit jamin tu boleh dpt balik, org giller terlepas dr hukuman... owh, btw hukuman untuk mencurik laptop boleh tahan berat..boleh sampai kena penjara..kalau tak silap, katanya penjara 1stgh tahn atau rm10ribu. bila fikir2, pasal masuk penjara sampai setahun stgh tu..kesian pon ada.. takut pon ada..kalau dia betul2 jatuh hukuman pastu berdendam ngan kitorang..uishh3..jgn fikir merepek.mungkin juga family dia seboleh2nya nk elakkan org giller masuk penjara sbb malu..yerla, once dah masuk penjara..mcm2 cite dlm penjara tu, wallahualam laa..pastu bila keluar kena cop banduan.. time tu..mesti hidup dia lagi susah... hmm... i hope we made the right desicion... sekian saja...nnti saya tepek gmbr gari bila balik rumah nnti!

"Maaf adalah kata benda yg beerti keampunan. diberikan kepada kesalahan kerana didorong perasaan kasih, cinta, sayang mahupun tak tega. ketika menjadi kata kerja memaafkan, maknanya sebuah tindakan yg penuh akal bijak kemanusiaan yg tinggi" "memaafkan mengandungi rasa mengampuni, tetapi tidak menjanjikan untuk bersedia menganggap itu tidak pernah terjadi. tetap menuliskannya dalam sejarah, namun tidak lagi dengan luapan emosi.peristiwa tersebut dilirihkan, dikendurkan agar tak mampu menyentuh perasaan lagi" "memaafkan dan melupakan dilakukan kerana tiada guna menahan perasaan yg justeru membatasi kita dalam bergerak.memaafkan dan melupakan dilakukan kerana buat apa perasaan yg dimiliki justeru malah menyempitkan hati.memaafkan dan melupakan dilakukan kerana ternyata perasaan yg kita tahan membezakan perilaku kita sesama saudara. memaafkan dan melupakan dilakukan kerana jika ternyata emosi yg kita tahan bukan kerana Allah S.W.T" "sungguh, memang perasaan manusia terkadang menjadi perasaan yg tidak mudah dimengerti. tp Allah S.W.T memberikan manusia hati dan akal yang membuatkan manusia lebih mulia dari makhluk lainnya yg digunakan untuk memahami.memiliki sifat memaafkan dikatakan sifat yg mulia. kerana dalam sifat maaf terhimpun sifat2 mulia lainnya. hanya dengan memiliki kesabaran dan kelapangan jiwa yg dapat memaafkan dengan tulus." betapa benarnya kata-kata ini....truly, we learned a lot from what had happened

updated!!

berbekalkan camera point & shoot yg sentiasa ada dlm handbag,sempat jugak snap gmbr2 haram di mahkamah.gmbr dlm court jer tak berani.kang ada yg tambah kes lain pulak..hehehe.syiok jugak amek gmbr2 camni :)

ini la gmbr gari yg saya ambil curik2.. masa polis xde.bila minta permission nk amek gmbr, polis tu tak bg.. huhuhu.dpt jugak akhirnya! jakun kan? bukan selalu dpt tgk live

kat sini la buat report... kat sini la jugak buat report utk tarik report...

sambil2 tunggu tu sempat la snap2 gmbr kereta polis nih..macho gak!

peguam?? bukan2, ni laki saya...hahaha.dlm geram2 tu bole pulak buat posing poyo.

bangunan pos ofis ni, antara bangunan tertua di Batu Pahat. sajer amek gmbr nih masa tunggu emir gi pos surat permohonan untuk tarik kes..

Sabar & Redha

rasa sekejappp jer dah seminggu lebih kita berpuasa.alhamdulillah,cuti 3renkyu minggu lepas kami habiskan kat kampung batu pahat.maklumlah,kami nih jarang dpt cuti hari sabtu..jadi bila ada peluang jer seboleh2nya nk balik cium tangan mak.lgpon, rindu nak buka puasa satu family.seronok sgt balik bercuti hari tu, juadah buka puasa kat bp mmg sedap2,murah2 dan lebih memenuhi citarasaku sebagai anak jati johor... bila mak tanya nk makan apa, my answer was,"jantung pisang rebus cicah sambal belacan"... it was my favourite..lagi satu,pucuk ubi rebus cicah sambal belacan jugak.. pendek kata,kalau balik bp tu mmg kena mkn sambal belacan resepi mak... dah try buat sendiri tp xsesedap air tangan mak or my sister.. she's good too and selalu melayan kerenah makan adiknya yg sorang nih... mee bandung pon sedap. mee sup johor pon sodap...infact, semua2 la sedap! owh lagi satu, kemestian kalau balik bp..kalau bukan bulan ramadhan laa..mesti nk makan sarapan roti canai bapa yati buat...seriously,it is the best roti canai in the world!! kelembutannya, kerangupannya..segala perfect! :D

ok, enough stories about makan2... dalam gembira2 tu ada jugak cerita tak berapa best..mungkin juga dugaan buat kami dalam bulan ramadhan nih... masa balik kg arituh, on the very 1st day we arrived... we lost a laptop. it was emirr's... and it was his beloved vaio lappy vgn-s... not because we misplaced it but it was stolen, in our own house( i mean my mom's house ) ... the problem don't just ended there, he also lost his boss's maxis modem which he brought home with good intention to show our mom rayyan's photos and our new house.sbb kat umah mak, internet takde, komputer takde,tv pon gambar tak cantek..hajat di hati si bini baru berangan2 nk layan nur kasih... mmg terkejut giller bila sedar komputer tu dah takde..itu pon bila orang sibuk2 suruh emir keluarkan laptop nk tunjuk gmbr kat k.ida. masa kami mula2 sampai tu, we unloaded only our bags which contains clothes and rayyan's stuff. but then, when we wanted to go to pasar ramadhan, i asked emir to take out the lappy coz i'm afraid to left it in the car while we're busy browsing for food later... well u know, the rule about don't-left-ur-laptop-in-your-car thing,right? little do we know that it is not safe in the house either... well, mana nak tau..selama2 nih kat rumah tu nobody dares to touch any of my things! SIAP LAH!! rupa2 nya,sangkaanku tidak benar belaka...someone who is desperate enough stole it. and we know who did it! area rumah tu mmg ramai "budak2 jahat".. plus, masa keluar tu tinggal my mom jer sorang kat rumah..and "orang giller" tu mmg selalu and senang nk masuk rumah mak... benda lain tak hilang.only the one bag. next time, if i encounter him anywhere i'm sure gonna give him my punch on his stupid-ugly face!! my brother tried to find him but to no avail. malam2 buta tu, mana la tempat nk cari pon.. tah kat mana dia menyorok. batu pahat tu besar.ntah2 dah naik bas gi KL.sape tau?

i know..i know..astaghfirullah... bulan puasa nih kena banyak sabar...

we filed a police report on that same night. my brother accompanied emir to the police station.they gave that "orang giller"'s name..and i'm not surprised that the police recognised him for few crimes before.. but he has not been charges because of lack of evidence. this time, i'm not gonna let it go that easy. he's sooo wrong to have messed with me!! my husband, my family for the big reasons. inspector Yap is doing his work, i can see. yesterday, he visited my mom's house to look at the crime scene.. mcm CSI pulak... and then he call us for follow up on any infos regarding the "orang giller".someone told us he might be in KL, because his brother is here... those 2 idiots!! sama jerr.. that night, i felt sorry for emir because i know how much he loves his lappy.he's been loyally using it for the past 4/5 years. bought in when he graduated.byk kali masuk 'hospital' dah laptop tu..sbb bini rosakkan screen,anak cabut papan keyboard..mcm2 dibuat tp laptop tu masih setia berfungsi..lagi laju dr my current miss pinky.plus, the fact that he lost his boss's property. mmg la boleh ganti jer tp semalam kami confirmkan, kalau hilang modem maxis tu, kena bayar rm800.. i was like, WHAT???!! mahey nyerr...almost a thousand. tambahan pulak, sekarang nih kami sibuk dgn persiapan nk masuk rumah baru... byk komitmen nk melengkapkan teratak kami, di kala tu jugak la kami diduga.. how much i understand his feelings.but, i just blurred out some comforting usual sentences to ease his worries. mungkin nih satu ujian Allah masa bulan ramadhan nih... dah ditakdirkan kita hilang harta dunia yg memangnya takkan kekal... dengan macam mana sekalipon satu masa akan hilang... cuma tatau macam mana caranya. kita patut syukur, benda nih hilang dgn cara kita xcedera, kereta kita x kena pecah and family kita semuanya ok... mungkin Allah nk gantikan dengans sesuatu yg lebih baik... mcm2 la bini nih meng'ayat'kan si suami yg gundah gulana... somehow, i felt responsible for the lost too. coz i'm the one who asked him to take out the lappy at the first place, and he lost it under my own roof... tp, si bini pon menyedapkan hati sendiri dgn kata2 hikmah tadi... bohonglah kalau ada org yg boleh terus except jer perkara macam nih dgn hati terbuka...sedikit tidak mesti ada rasa "kalau laa".. "if only"... and whatnot... lumrah la manusia... alhamdlulillah, the next day.. we woke up as cheer as the day we arrived. happy to see mom in the kitchen, qaseh playing with rayyan. and looking forward to buy juadah buka puasa that day, after all the miserable incident the night before. i'm more than happy to see that emir is smiling and laughing as usual... kadang2, mcm mana berhati2 sekali pun kita... kalau sesuatu itu ditakdirkan utk ditarik balik dari kita.. kita akan kehilangannya juga... sbb Dia lebih tahu... dan mungkin ada rancangan yg lebih baik dariNya insyaAllah... kami redha dengan apa yg terjadi (selepas puas menyumpah seranah si orang giller!!) i read somewhere that says,"Setiap kali sesuatu yg tidak baik terjadi kepada kita pastinya ia adalah satu hikmah. sekiranya ada orang mengambil kesempatan atas diri kita, yakinlah bahawa tidak lama lagi Allah akan memberi ganjaran yang amat lumayan kepada kita sekiranya kita redha dengan kejadian itu. Allah swt works in mysterious ways. satu hari, kita akan diuji dengan pelbagai ujian yang amat berat, satu hari lagi dia boleh memberi ganjaran yang berlipat kali ganda. Janji, kita sentiasa sabar dan redha... pasti hikmahnya akan diberikan! for sure.... guaranteed!!" terima kasih irfan khairi...those words are beutiful... pesannya lagi, tak kira apa sahaja yg terjadi pada kita, bersabar sepenuh hati.. dan redha sepenuh hati(bukan berlakon sabar & berlakon redha)... you must really feel it in your heart. just like the law of attration.

pic taken from google image

nota sedapkan hati : ayang, maybe Allah nk bagi you iMac kot... :D