Mai kids are mai soul

mai kids are mai soul...they are the main reason i'm smiling everyday, the one that keeps me strong and grow. the ones that teach me patience and positivity...they are my addiction!!

setiap kali berpisah dgn anak2, sekalipun hanya untuk sejam dua, i'll hug them very tight and kiss them a lot... i wouldn't dare walk out the door without hugging or kissing them even knowing they'll cry seeing me in nice dresses bertudung siap,but leaving them behind... leaving them quietly just for the sake of not wanting to make them cry is never an option. i mean, i'd rather see them crying knowing me leaving rather than leaving them quietly...afraid that, that's gonna be my last hug.you never know right?

i understand, we especially mothers are very attached to our kids. it is almost hard to leave them even for an hour. my kids especially rifqi mmg xboleh berenggang.kalau ada kat rumah mmg senantiasa nak melepek sebelah mama...kalau letak sebelah pon xmau..nak kena berdukung juga.tu yg sampai kes, mama masuk toilet dia nak teman jugak.

see his make-pity faces sambil peluk kaki xbg lepas.....
mmg cair la hati mama dia..huhuhu

don't get me wrong.it doesn't mean that i don't like my kids being this way...to be frank, i'm quite relief they can't resist me they way they are irresistable to me. that way i know that they need me, love me :) and i don't mind having to hold them while cooking just to stop them from crying, i don't mind giving them the attention they want as much as i can give... i just can't stand seeing them sad or dissapointed..

sometimes distance is good. an hour distance, a day distance is a nice therapy i think. it makes us appreciate our children more.even when we're at work, we can't help but to think about our kids at home/nursery..are they having a good day, are they eating well, what are they watching on tv, do they coop well with their sibblings/friends...are they ok? that's the credit of being a full-time-housewives(FTHW) i guess...they got to see their kids grow every minute, shape their kids the way they want without bad influences from outsiders, and the kids are like their Masters/PhD thesis... there's no bigger success that seeing your kids grow being a good caliphs,kan? so, to mothers who are a FTHW, jgn ambik pusing kata2 yang mengecil2kan anda.walaupon anda pemegang diploma,degree,master hatta phd sekalipon, pahala yg anda kumpul kerana menjadi ibu sepenuh masa kepada anak2 dan isteri sepenuh masa yang menjaga kebajikan dirumah insyaAllah jaaauuuhhh lebih hebat drpd saya yg bekerja.bayangkan,sekali kita pandang anak2 dengan penuh kasih sayang, itu sudah pahala, belum lagi kita yg suapkan makannya, memakaikan pakaiannya, mengajar mereka secara langsung atau tidak, menidurkan mereka, memberi kata2 perangsang kepada mereka etc.kadang2 pernah juga tahu yg ibu2 sepenuh masa ni susah hati kerana tidak dpt membantu ibu bapa yg membesarkan mereka kerana tiada pendapatan tetap setiap bulan.mengambil kata2 seorang tok guru yg saya hormati, walaupon ibu2 sepenuh masa ini tidak bekerja dan tiada pendapatan untuk membantu ibu bapa mereka sendiri, ingatlah bahawa ketaatan anda kepada suami anda dan usaha anda menjadi ibu kepada anak2 anda ada bahagian(pahala) kepada ibu bapa anda.pahala itu mengalir kepada mereka dengan syarat kita menjaga hak2 kita sebagai isteri spt menunaikan solat, menutup aurat dan melaksanakan kewajipan yg wajib lainnya dan meninggalkan laranganNya.insyaAllah...Allah kan Maha Kaya! (eh, macam lari topik pulak..heheh)

anyway, i'm leaving rayyan n rifqi at my in laws just now after celebrating rayyan's birthday..my mom needs my maid's help so, the kids have to tag along...God, it was hard to let go! bukan lama pon,xsampai 24hours...but the feelings of not being able to sleep with them, hug them at night, wake up to their beautiful smiles and all makes it hard to let go... rayyan salam, hug me, kiss me at both my cheeks n forehead(tiru papa dia..huhuh), but still it's not enough..hug rifqi sooooo tight,kiss him hard but still, it's not enough...Subhanallah, ini baru dugaan kecil.

when i told my friends, families about me going away for 6months leaving the kids behind, some are being so sceptical. i know there's a lot to go through but at the same time, it's not impossible. i'm seriously trying to be very positive about this matter from the 1st time i took the decision to go. everyday i keep telling myself that i'm gonna be okay. i'm hoping others wouldn't pity me but please pray for me...pray that Allah would grant me the strength, the love, the sanity to survive. Please stop worrying about me..insyaAllah, i'll be fine... i know i'll be fine... and to friends who keep me strong, trust in me and tune me into being positive, may Allah repay your kindness! i hope nothing more than your doa'.

ramadhan is approaching... bulan yang mulia untuk meminta kepadaNya...bulan untuk menggandakan pahala...bulan yg penuh rahmah. semoga Allah beri kekuatan, hidayah, kasih sayang, dan pertolonganNya kepada kita semua....